Trustbuilding: Global Stories of Transformation and Healing

Those from other ethnic groups, especially villagers who did not flee, were collectively viewed as perpetrators, inhuman, and to be feared. This deeply entrenched worldview left no space for healing or reconciliation.

That began to change when Chandelle participated in a Trustbuilding workshop. In a safe and reflective space, she encountered other narratives for the first time. She learned about the shared pain across communities and the possibility of healing through dialogue, empathy, and forgiveness.

“After attending this workshop,” Chandelle shared, “I understood how important forgiveness is and how important it is to open our hearts and cultivate inner peace… Now I feel transformed and know we are not the only ones who suffered from the past violence.”

Chandelle’s story is one of profound transformation - from inherited trauma and fear of the “other” to the beginnings of healing and hope. It reflects the impact of the TBP Burundi’s trustbuilding efforts that help individuals and communities shift from division toward connection, and from blame toward shared humanity.

The TBP experience became a turning point. For the first time, Khamal found himself in an environment where he was not just accepted but welcomed wholeheartedly. His enthusiasm and active participation were embraced by fellow participants and the organizing committee alike. One of the most transformative moments for him was during the Relationship Map session. Here, he reflected on his connections with people around him - recognizing where trust was strong, and where healing or growth was needed.

He also found great meaning in the Indonesian Social Context session, where he explored what it means to live as part of a non-dominant group. Far from feeling excluded, he discovered that his voice mattered. In his small “family group”, Khamal experienced genuine listening and non-judgmental dialogue - something that gave him the courage to share more openly than before.

After TBP, Khamal emerged with renewed confidence. He proudly represented disability in a space where, perhaps, he was the first participant with such lived experience. Through conversations with peers, he also gained valuable insight into how non-disabled people perceive disability - knowledge that strengthened his own advocacy. More than that, he built friendships across different faith traditions, broadening his perspective and even learning about Buddhism for the first time.

Today, Khamal stands as a voice for inclusion and trust. His journey through TBP did not just affirm his self-worth; it empowered him to bridge divides - between disabled and non-disabled communities, and between people of different beliefs. His story is one of transformation: from worry to confidence, from isolation to belonging, and from difference to shared humanity.

Years later, Emmanuel fell in love with Yvette Irakoze, a young Tutsi woman raised in that same displacement camp. Their relationship, however, quickly drew fierce opposition from Yvette’s family. Marked by decades of intergenerational fear and mistrust, her relatives saw Emmanuel not as a partner, but as a potential threat.

Under intense family pressure and amid serious threats, the relationship was forced to come to a painful halt for more than a year.

At the height of this crisis, Emmanuel was invited to participate in TBP Burundi’s Honest Conversations - a series of dialogues designed for individuals to confront painful histories, engage in truth-telling, and begin healing across ethnic divides. These sessions proved transformative.

“The honest conversations helped me see that love does not have to carry the weight of inherited trauma,” Emmanuel shared during one of the sessions. “We are not born to hate. The past does not have to determine the future. Our relationship became a symbol of what is possible when we choose courage over fear.”

With renewed clarity and support from the project team, Emmanuel found the strength to persevere. He and Yvette rekindled their relationship, this time standing firm in the face of continued resistance. Their determination eventually softened hearts on both sides.

In May 2025, a dowry ceremony marked the formal start of their union, as both families witnessed the exchange of wedding rings—a powerful gesture of hope and unity. On June 15, 2025, Emmanuel and Yvette celebrated their wedding surrounded by community members who, not long ago, doubted such a moment could ever come.

This story is more than a celebration of love. It embodies the deeper purpose of the Trustbuilding Program: to break the cycle of inherited mistrust, humanize former adversaries, and help individuals write new stories grounded in empathy, dignity, and shared humanity.

In high school, Cayes was falsely accused of insulting another religion on Facebook by her other religion teacher, an incident that left a lasting scar. Her family was criticized for alleged proselytizing/ Christianization when their church assisted Yogyakarta earthquake victims in 2006. Additionally, friends teased her about her faith, making her hesitant to embrace it openly. Even within her church, she faced judgment. As a child lector, her nervous mistakes during a reading were ridiculed, leading her to withdraw from church activities altogether. These events eroded her confidence, causing her to distance herself from prayer and church.

Joining TBP marked a turning point. Cayes discovered that beneath her calm exterior lay deep-seated wounds. Through TBP’s activities, she began a journey of self-discovery and healing. Inner listening sessions were particularly impactful. For the first time, Cayes confronted her pain and acknowledged its existence. Though the process wasn’t perfect, she committed to daily inner listening, learning to accept her vulnerabilities instead of making them with strength.

The timeline of historical wounds helped her recognize how long-standing and unacknowledged these pains were. Even incidents involving distant acquaintances had left lasting imprints. Participating in fishbowl exercises allowed her to articulate and embrace her wounds, creating a moment of catharsis and self-acceptance. Cayes also enjoyed interactive games like Friends for Life which provided fresh perspectives and deepened her understanding of others’ experiences.

After completing TBP, Cayes experienced significant personal growth. She became more confident and started trusting others more readily. Conversations about religion no longer felt threatening but became opportunities for connection. She re-engaged with her church, becoming a member of the Parish Pastoral Council (DPP) for lectors. This role symbolized her resolve to break the cycle of hurt she had once experienced, ensuring others wouldn’t feel discouraged from serving their faith.
 

In her professional and personal life, Cayes became more attuned to others’ emotional wounds, striving to minimize harm and foster understanding. She embraced love and honesty as guiding principles, teaching her students to be authentic and true to themselves. Tools like Friends for Life became part of her efforts to connect with and support those around her.

Cayes also grew more open to interfaith dialogue, participating actively in discussions and events. This openness enriched her faith, allowing it to flourish. While challenges remain - including the difficulty of creating safe spaces for herself and others - Cayes continues striving for growth. She acknowledges the ongoing journey of processing and forgiving past wounds but remains committed to her path.

My youthful passion sometimes led me to present news in a biased manner, openly opposing police actions while supporting protesters. People in villages and cities would listen to the radio throughout the day. Women working in kitchens, farmers in fields, and shopkeepers were avid listeners. Driven by emotion, I presented aggressive narratives in support of the protesters through live broadcasts.

While I remained silent on incidents of police injuries caused by stones thrown by protesters, I exaggerated even minor injuries sustained by protesters due to police baton charges, framing it as police brutality.

Reflecting on these events, I realised much later that my actions and conduct as a young journalist during that time were inappropriate.

Through my involvement with IofC, I began taking an hour of inner listening every morning, which helped me realise that my mistakes in the past had contributed significantly to social unrest.

I witnessed how, during cricket matches in Madhesh, we would cheer for Indian teams against Nepal’s Pahadi teams. Similarly, during cricket matches in the hills, people supported Darjeeling over Madhesi teams. These experiences prompted me to observe the biases within our society and the challenges of unity. I realised that as long as we remain divided as Madhesi or Pahadi, we cannot truly identify as Nepali.

Young people from Madhesh, including myself, organised a youth camp in Giranchaur, Melamchi, located in the hills. We also invited Pahadi friends to Raghunathpur village in Madhesh to celebrate Holi together.

What Bunga found was different from what she feared. During a sharing circle on religion, she remembers feeling warmth as others listened with curiosity about her faith. She saw no hatred in their eyes. For the first time, she felt her beliefs were not wrong, but worthy of respect. In those conversations, she learned about others’ traditions and also discovered the richness of her own.
TBP also introduced Bunga to the practice of inner listening. Until then, she admits, she had neglected this part of herself. Through listening within, she learned that respecting herself was the first step to respecting others.

The impact did not end with the program. Returning home, Bunga began to shed the fear that had weighed on her for years. She found the courage to speak openly with her father about her choice to follow Shia Islam. His response was not what she hoped he still longed for her to return to his way of faith - but for Bunga, the act of being honest was a breakthrough. She realized that self-discovery is not only about making choices but also about embracing oneself amidst differences.

For Bunga, TBP became more than a program - it became a family. In this diverse community, she discovered true friendship: a space where she could be herself without hiding. Today, Bunga is more confident, open, and mature. She carries with her not only knowledge but also the experience of being accepted and valued.

Her hope is clear: that many more people will find the same strength, acceptance, and transformation through the Trustbuilding Program as she did.

I would later go on to live in a Police barracks when a senior Police officer gave me a bedroom space so I could live closer to my place of work. This act of kindness gave me a good impression of the Police and I thought to myself, “maybe they are not all that bad.”

My journey with the Police shifted from that of fear, suspicion, and division to one of empathy and understanding.

My views and experience with the Police have made a more positive dimension through exposure I am getting from the Trustbuilding Program- Police I Care Initiative. This initiative highlights to me the power of empathy, understanding and proactive communication in building trust between myself and the Police. I now understand the act of story telling and sharing instances where officers took responsibility for their actions, admitted mistakes, and worked towards building trust, which serves as a model for more open accountable practices.

By sharing these stories, I hope to inspire others to recognize that change is possible, and it should start from within oneself. 

These questions stirred something deeper within Hanny, prompting her to explore interfaith dialogue and reconciliation.

She began joining various interfaith programs - both locally and internationally - hoping to uncover insights that would shed light on these troubling patterns. It wasn’t until a close friend, Ninis, encouraged her to join the Trustbuilding Program that Hanny encountered the turning point she didn’t know she needed.

One session, themed “Healing Historical Wounds,” challenged Hanny in ways she hadn’t expected. She came searching for answers about others - why people hurt, provoke, or discriminate - but the program gently turned that lens inward. One particular moment stood out: when participants were asked, “Is your activism rooted in love, or is it a reflection of your own unhealed wounds?” That question hit Hanny hard.

For the first time, she realized that her drive to create change might be intertwined with her own hidden pain - pain she hadn’t fully acknowledged. This realization didn’t weaken her - it deepened her. As she examined her past experiences and emotional scars, she began to see a larger truth: many of the conflicts she had been fighting against weren’t just political or social - they were deeply personal. They stemmed from wounds passed down, buried, and ignored.

Through the Trustbuilding Program, Hanny came to believe that healing - both personal and collective - is not only possible, but essential. She learned that authentic leadership begins with self-awareness and vulnerability. And she embraced a powerful new perspective: reconciliation, though slow and difficult, is within reach if we’re willing to first make peace within ourselves.

This shift in perspective marked the beginning of Hanny’s transformation. No longer just an advocate for peace, through the TBP she became a facilitator of healing. She began initiating dialogue sessions in her community, focusing on personal stories rather than abstract theories. Her goal wasn’t to win arguments or offer quick fixes - it was to create safe, empathetic spaces where people could share, listen, and understand one another’s pain.

By turning inward, Hanny found the strength to reach outward in a new, more compassionate way. Her journey reminds us that the path to peace doesn’t always start with solving the world’s problems, it starts with the courage to face our own.

With this newfound assurance, Jane began to engage more deeply. She embraced the importance of self-education, conducting her own research and seeking support from other allies. Inspired by the transformation she experienced, Jane volunteered for her local Yes referendum campaign - an action she later admitted she wouldn’t have considered before gaining this cultural confidence.

But Jane’s journey didn’t stop there. What began as simple volunteer work evolved into active civic participation. She started by door-knocking in her community, then stepped up to become a trainer.

In a matter of months, Jane played a key role in mobilizing 5,000 people across the McNamara electorate in southeast Melbourne. Her dedication significantly contributed to McNamara becoming one of the strongest electorates supporting First Nations people. The ripple effect of this movement has been felt nationally, with increasing recognition of Indigenous voices in government—including the milestone of the first Aboriginal MP being put up in an election.

Jane’s story illustrates the transformative power of trustbuilding. Through cultural education and supported allyship, she shifted from passive support to active leadership, amplifying Indigenous voices and fostering meaningful social change in her community.

TBP taught Riri how to create safe spaces for open and honest conversations about religious and cultural differences - topics often linked to conflict. Before joining the program, Riri had already engaged with interfaith communities, but TBP helped her realize that young people need spaces where they can explore and define their identities, especially in relation to faith.

"I was raised in a conservative Muslim family, where forming relationships with people of different religions seemed impossible," Riri reflects. "The TBP taught me the power of empathy and deep listening, particularly when engaging with non-dominant religious communities such as Ahmadiyah, Shiah, and various Christian denominations. Before, I was unaware of their experiences, but now I understand that I, too, have my own internal struggles—within my family and within myself."

One of the most profound moments for Riri came during the Healing Historical Wounds session. She realized that, just like society carries wounds from its past, she too had personal wounds to confront. "I used to believe I wasn’t good enough or worthy - coming from a broken family, struggling as a Gen Z, and navigating my identity as a Muslim woman. In many ways, I belong to a dominant group, yet I have also felt the weight of being in a non-dominant position."

Through the TBP, Riri has not only deepened her understanding of interfaith dialogue but has also undergone a personal transformation. She has learned to embrace her struggles, extend empathy to others, and find healing within herself. Now, she hopes to continue building safe spaces where young people, like herself, can engage in meaningful conversations, build bridges across differences, and grow into their true selves.